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Exceptionally early days in the podcast!

And already folks are coming out of the woodwork with their BEST PRODUCT EVER!  With which I MUST ACT NOW!  And take advantage of the ABSOLUTE BEST at MARKETING YOUR PODCAST!!!

Beetlejuice

Stop.  Breathe.  Let’s dial back the late night infomercial Tony Robbins on all-natural alkaline steroids.

First, I hate sales.  And salespeople.  Not all.  Just 98%.  Why?  I used to be you.  I hated my life.  Loathed it.  It took The Big Short to liberate me.  The films Office Space and Boiler Room were documentaries to me.  But you already knew that.  Because you prepared.  You at least read my BIO.   And POEM.  Right?

Yeah.  About that …

If you’re still reading this, and genuinely believe you can make my podcast better with your incredible product or service, here’s some homework.  I know, why am I teaching you how to sell me?  GREAT QUESTION!!!  But here we are.  Let’s make the best of it.  Good luck!

HOW TO SELL MARK

  1. DISCOVER Mark.  Get to know me first!
  2. LISTEN to the podcast.
  3. RESEARCH my podcast.
  4. SUPPORT my podcast (not mandatory, but I notice – do the math).
  5. PREPARE a detailed and unique sales proposition tailored exclusively and uniquely to me.
  6. EMAIL me your proposal.
  7. PROVE your capacity for empathy, your initiative to make the world a better place:  DONATE to my friend Venka, who is struggling with homelessness and healthcare challenges after a stroke.  (EMAIL me evidence of your donation)
  8. If I like your proposal, MEET me in Hollywood to discuss (over a Don Draper lunch at your expense at a location of my choosing).

I don’t seek fame.
I don’t seek fortune.
I’m the Son of Elmer Gantry’s Bitch.
I’m just trying to get through my day.

Hearing one person laugh or smile because of the art I create and perform helps.
This podcast is just a small piece of an empire I’ve learned I must build to have peace and … just maybe … make the world a slightly better place.

GOOD LUCK!

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